Writing—it’s a lonely business. Pecking away at your laptop after the rest of the family has gone to bed . . . jotting down ideas in a notebook during your lunch hour . . . planning that weekend retreat at an Airbnb to try and finish your novel draft.
We wouldn’t do it if we didn’t love it, and I think most (if not all) writers have a strong introvert streak that makes the solitude of the craft inviting. We might even take comfort in the myth of the writer as an untouchable genius, shivering away in an attic somewhere. (Bonus points if they’re underappreciated in their own time!) But unless we’re true hermits, there comes a point when we wonder if writing has to be so dang lonely.
Writing is no different from the rest of life: community is essential—not just as a source of meaningful relationships, but also as a context that can nourish our writing skills and enable better progress toward our goals.
Think of your writing community as having three groups of people in it.
Your audience
In a general sense, anyone who ever reads your work is your audience. But it’s useful to think of your audience more narrowly as the specific readers to whom you are writing.
If you have a harrowing or hilarious experience on your morning commute, do you walk into the office and announce what happened to anyone within earshot? Or do you go straight to the cubicle of the work buddy who will most appreciate what happened—and your unique way of telling it?
Your audience is more than just those who comment approvingly on your blog posts or buy your book on Amazon. Your audience is the people who pay attention and respond to what you write. If writing is a conversation, they are your interlocutors. Without them, you’re monologuing.
Your fellow writers
Writing is one of few fields in which it is possible to become very accomplished through self-teaching alone. However, this does not happen in a vacuum—every writer learns from other writers, whether living or dead. It is through reading books that we are inspired to write our own, and it is through intelligent, analytical, close-listening reading that we learn what makes a good story and what words go well together.
The writers you love—whether Mary Shelley or Stephen King—are part of your community, so if you’re struggling to find in-person writer companions but you’re reading books by authors who inspire you, you’re doing OK! Your next goal could be to find some actual writer friends. Not only can you learn from and with them, but by sharing the unique experiences of the writing life with people who understand, you will feel accepted and encouraged.
Your support team
Editors, agents, publishers—these are just a few of the writer-adjacent members of your community. (Depending on the type of writing you do, your support team could also include a historical researcher, a web designer, a marketing consultant . . . anyone who helps you bring your writing to your audience.)
Again, the lone-wolf writer myth has a certain appeal. We might want to believe that we don’t need the support of other professionals to bring our writing to fruition—it’s appealing to imagine that our genius can garner an audience all on its own. But I can’t think of any writers who have actually succeeded this way. (Sappho, maybe?) Our writing is better for having a team of helpers who believe in it and us.
Barriers to community
The things that block us from community may be practical, such as time limitations or where we live. But often, there are vaguer forces at work.
Fear of being rejected: We fear that the words we have poured from our heart onto the page will be misunderstood, criticized, or downright rejected. One way to prevent this from happening is to never share our writing with anybody . . . until we’re sure it’s as perfect as we can make it.
Perfectionism and control: Everyone wants their writing to be perfect—and sometimes it seems that the best way to achieve this is to exert total control over our writing by not letting anyone else get their grubby hands (or their opinions) on it. Spoiler alert! Nothing in life is ever perfect, and the input of others can actually make our writing better.
Ego: We also want to believe that our writing is already perfect—ergo, no help needed! If someone finds fault with our writing, we automatically assume they are very, very wrong. Some of us take this a step further and don’t share our writing at all, to prevent wrongheaded criticism from happening in the first place.
Lack of skills: Sometimes, we write alone because we simply don’t know how to find other people who write, or who write like we do. We’re not avoiding community; we lack community-building skills.
Finding community
If you’re ready to enrich your writing life through relationships, here are three ways to get started.
Just share!
These days, sharing what you write is as easy as posting on Facebook, so there’s no reason not to put your words out there. You can blog; you can submit a short story to a fiction contest; you can tell your yarn to your friend while road tripping to the Grand Canyon. Volunteer to write your church’s email newsletter or a skit for the office Christmas party. Share with informed and uninformed audiences, with those who support you and those who don’t, with those who love what you write and those who aren’t convinced. Get your writing out of the ivory tower and into the real world, where it’s supposed to be. As you experience what it’s like to have a voice and use it, your writing will develop into something newer, richer, and more personal.
Join a writer’s group.
Writer’s groups run the gamut from casual klatches to rigorous critique groups, with many variations depending on participants. You probably already know of an in-person or online group you could join, or you may have a few friends who would form a group with you. If you’re struggling to find a group, try looking at your local library, on Facebook, or on a groups site like Meetup. Be willing to hop around until you find your dream team! Another approach is to take a writing class at your local community college (or, again, try the library). You’ll meet fellow writers, build your creative network, and develop your writing skills, all in a structured environment.
Work with an editor.
Editors are a little like therapists. We believe in you and your writing, and we will go with you into the dark places, helping you push beyond what you think you are capable of to write your best. As with any relationship, some people are a better fit than others. Many editors offer a free or low-cost introductory service that allows you to see whether their personality and editing approach are what you’re looking for. In my case, that’s a free 25-minute phone consultation—click here to schedule yours!
Banner photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash